AVitD-Chapter 12

Chapter 12~ The Kiss That Kills

Alice had seen what was going to happened between Bella and the witch sisters too late to do anything about it.  Having knowledge of Alice’s gift allowed them to work around it when they planned their assault on Bella.  Alice felt terrible and apologized profusely, but Carlisle would not hear it.  It was not her fault that she did not see their intentions when they came.  Alice shied away because her earlier vision had warned of such a scene and she had not realized it was coming soon enough to stop it.

Peace had fallen upon the house over the next few days.  Bella was unusually quiet and kept to herself most of the time.  She answered questions that were asked of her but she did not engage in any family time; opting to read by herself in her room.  Carlisle tried to keep her company but she insisted that she was fine and he should enjoy his guests while they were here.  He begrudgingly agreed and left her to her solitude.

Later in the evening Kate was sitting and watching the family relax and interact in various ways.  Eleazar and Jasper were having a debate over the true failure of the South to win the Civil War with their mates by their sides.  Rosalie and Emmett were engaged in a heated round of Guitar Hero and Carlisle was off with Bella again.

He is always with her.  She is so needy.  He doesn’t even work anymore and he loved being a doctor.  She isn’t good for him.  She does not allow him to be true to his nature.  He needs to be with someone else; someone like me.

Kate mused and tried to think of a way to get him alone.  Then she jumped up causing everyone to turn in her direction.

“I’m going hunting.  Anyone want to join me?”

Rosalie and Emmett agreed to go.  Jasper and Eleazar declined and returned to their previous discussion with Alice and Carmen watching the debate like a tennis match.

As Emmett and Rosalie made their way to the back door, Kate stopped and turned towards Bella’s room since she knew that was where she would find Carlisle.  Kate quietly knocked on the door before opening it silently.  Carlisle turned gently trying not to disturb Bella as she slept by his side.

“I thought you might like to join me on a hunt.  You look like you haven’t fed in a while.” Kate whispered.

She rubbed under her eyes indicating that the shadows under Carlisle’s were very noticeable.  He looked down at Bella.  He knew she would most likely sleep through the night, but he hated to leave her.  Kate saw his turmoil.

“Don’t worry.  We won’t be gone long and Carmen and Eleazar are staying here with Alice and Jasper.” She said in encouragement.

Carlisle decided that he neglected his thirst long enough having abstained from the kill while out the other day.  There were not enough animals for everyone so he let the others feed while he held back.  It was the safest decision where Bella was involved. 

He carefully removed himself from the bed without jostling Bella’s sleeping form.  He repositioned the blankets around her and crept out the door behind Kate.

“Come on.  They have a head start on us, but I am sure we can catch up.” Kate said in a playful voice as they shot out the back door and into the darkened wilderness.

Carlisle could hear the faint sounds of vampires running to the east of the house.  He began running in the same direction with Kate close at his side.  Her proximity was a little uncomfortable, but he tried not to show it; he didn’t want to be rude.  He had not been this close to anyone else on a hunt since Esme.  When he ran with the family, they always gave him his personal space, which he appreciated.  He shifted to his left to try and broaden the gap between them, but Kate quickly compensated and was closer than before.  Carlisle tried to shake off the unease and focus on the hunt.

A few miles out Kate grabbed Carlisle’s hand and pulled him in a northern direction as she whispered, “I hear something.”

Her touch was all wrong.  It was hard and cold in comparison to the hand he had been used to holding.  Once they were heading in the same direction he nonchalantly removed his hand from her grip.  Kate didn’t protest but inside, it hurt.  Soon they came upon a few sleeping moose.  Instinctively they crouched into their individual hunting stances.

“You go first, Carlisle; I just drank a few days ago.” Kate said; her voice as soft as the breeze.

Carlisle tried to be a gentleman and decline; allowing Kate to go first but she insisted.  Carlisle slowly made his way down to the clearing being careful to stay downwind of the sleeping animals.  Their pumping blood called to his darker side and he lunged at the large bull nearest him.  The animal did not have time to react as Carlisle quickly snapped its neck and drank the hot vicarious fluid as it poured from the open wound.  He looked up at the sound of another moose bellowing and he watched Kate take her own prey down to the ground and begin to drink.  Their eyes met and Carlisle felt himself become aroused at the site of Kate feeding.  Hunting was a very primal action for vampires and he had not drunk alongside anyone since before Esme had died.  He was not necessarily attracted to Kate, but the situation made for a heady aphrodisiac.  He pulled his eyes away from the hungry look he was receiving and finished draining the moose.  He disposed of the body and gave his silent prayer of thanks.  He walked off in the direction they had come to leave Kate to finish her meal alone.

She caught up with him a few minutes later.

“Hey, where did you go off to?” she asked as they began to jog back to the house.

“I didn’t want to disturb your meal.” He answered genially.

“Oh you weren’t disturbing me.  I like to share.” Her voice took on a sensual undertone.

Carlisle did not respond but picked up the pace to a run.  He felt the pull to be back at Bella’s side.  He did not want her waking up alone.

They ran in silence as the night began to lighten to dawn.  They had broken free from the woods and were in the backyard when Kate reached for Carlisle’s arm.

“Carlisle wait.”

He turned towards her but she did not release her hold on his arm.

“What is it Kate?” he asked kindly.

“I understand that losing Esme was painful for you and I know that no one can ever replace her, but you don’t need to be alone.”

Carlisle responded, “But I am not alone, Kate.  I have my family.” His mind wandered to the beautiful brunette sleeping in his bed.  He focused on the house hoping to hear her heartbeat but was unsuccessful.

Kate shook her head, “They are wonderful Carlisle, but they are not a mate.” Kate stepped in front of him so their bodies were nearly touching. “You have needs and I can satisfy those needs.”

Carlisle was about to step back and decline her offer when Kate grabbed his other arm and pulled herself to him.  Her lips attacked his and her tongue forced its way into his mouth.  She could taste the fresh blood on his tongue and she growled as she kissed him harder.

Bella had woken up earlier than normal when she realized that she was alone.  She got up and stretched and wandered over to the window to see the rising sun.  In the distance she saw two figures that she recognized as Carlisle and Kate.  They looked to be talking when she saw Kate kiss him on the lips.  Bella felt her heart break as he did not pull away.  She figured that he would not be alone forever and Kate was a good match for him.  She was beautiful and worldly and most importantly…a vampire.  She could be what he needed.  Bella didn’t realize she was crying until the hot tears stained her cheeks.  She turned away from the intimate moment.  It was too painful to watch.  She took a deep breath and steeled herself for what she had to do.  She went to take a hot shower and get dressed for the day.

Carlisle was shocked by the force of the kiss.  He remembered what it was like to kiss Esme.  It was soft even though she was unbreakable.  It was tender and loving.  This kiss was none of those things.  He finally came back to himself and extricated his lips and arms from her hold.  She smiled seductively at him, but Carlisle put his hands up in front of himself to stop her advance.

“Kate, this needs to stop.  You are a beautiful woman, but this is not right.  I am not in love with you and I cannot give you what you want.”

Kate stepped forward undeterred by his words, “You don’t need to love me.  Just go with it and let your body enjoy the feeling.  Who knows, maybe you will learn to love me as time goes on.  We have an eternity.”

Carlisle was firm, “Kate, that is enough.  I have always considered you a part of my family, but if you cannot respect my answer then I am sorry to say that our relationship can continue no longer.”

Carlisle had dealt with Kate long enough and wanted to get back to Bella before she woke.  The sun was rising and he knew she would be awake soon.  He felt his heart sink when he heard the shower running and knew that she was already up.  He quickly grabbed some fresh clothes and hurried to another shower to clean up from the hunt.  He was in and out in minutes and made his way to the kitchen to make Bella some breakfast but was beat to the punch by Emmett.  He was plating a stack of pancakes and pouring some coffee as Carlisle heard Bella’s soft footsteps draw closer.  He turned and smiled at her as she entered the room.  She smiled in return but it was not the same smile that he had been greeted with each morning since she returned to them.  It was shallow, almost forced.  Bella turned her gaze away from Carlisle’s quizzical expression.  She was never going to make it through this if she looked into his soulful eyes.

“Hey Bells!  I made you pancakes-Emmett-style.” Emmett said with a bright cheery smile.

Bella sat at the table in front of a huge stake of pancakes.  “Thanks, they look delicious, but what makes them ‘Emmett style’? She asked.

“They aren’t burnt!” he quipped in return.

Bella smiled and shook her head in amusement.  He was right.  He was the only member of the family besides Bella who could cook pancakes without burning at least half of them.  You would think with vampire senses that they would know how to cook without burning things, but you would be wrong.  Bella felt her heart clench when she realized that she was no longer going to be part of ‘the family’.  Maybe I never really was.  She sighed and tucked into the mountain of food in front of her.  Both Carlisle and Emmett sensed something different about her but both were leery to broach the subject.  Emmett started cleaning up while Carlisle opened his laptop to read the news.

Bella ate about a third of the pancakes before she pushed the plate away and wrapped her fingers around the warm coffee cup.  She took a deep pull on it then set it back down.  It was now or never.

“Carlisle,” her voice cracked under the emotional strain.

He looked up at her, “What is it sweetheart?”

The endearment struck her heart like a cold, hard dagger.  She swallowed around the lump in her throat.

“I’ve made my decision in regards to what I want to do with my life.” She said with as much strength as she could muster.

Carlisle closed his laptop to show her that she had his undivided attention.  Emmett had since left the kitchen and settled in the living room, but he along with Rosalie, Jasper and Alice waited with bated breath to hear what she said next.  Alice sucked in a breath and shuddered as the vision flashed in front of her.

“She’s leaving.” She whispered.

Bella took a deep breath before continuing, “I would like to move to England and start a new life there…on my own.”

Those last three words hit Carlisle deep in his soul.  He sat stone still not allowing his emotions to betray him, but inside he felt his dead heart breaking again.  First to lose Esme and Edward and now, Bella.  His mind was spinning.  She doesn’t want to stay with us.  She doesn’t want to stay with me.  He gave her a tight smile.

“If you are sure this is what you want,” he began but Bella cut him off.

“I’m sure.  I don’t want to be anywhere Charlie or Renee might come across me and I have always wanted to visit England.  I can go to school there and make a life for myself.” She said assuredly.

She was pressing her nails into the palm of her hand to keep from breaking down as she looked across the table at the man she just now realized that she was falling in love with.  The man who had chosen someone else.  Her heart clenched with the pain that knowledge caused.

Carlisle nodded stiffly, “Of course.  I can help you get set up in a house there and enrolled in school to begin next semester.”

Bella shook her head, “I want to leave tomorrow.  I would like to take some time to acclimate myself to the area before I start school.”

“Tomorrow?  So soon?” his calm voice hid the panic he felt at the idea of losing her.  How am I supposed to let her go?  

Bella swallowed back the heartache, “I don’t see the point in delaying the inevitable.  I can find my own place.  It won’t be extravagant.  I’ll make sure to keep a tight budget.”

Now it was Carlisle’s turn to interject, “Money is no object Bella.  I already told you that I could support you financially several lifetimes over.”

“Still, I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness.” She stood up and took her plate and mug to the sink as her hands shook slightly.  She hoped he wouldn’t notice. “You have given me so much already.  I need to stand on my own two feet.” She paused and leaned into the sink in an attempt to regain her composure. “I’m going to go start packing.” She finished quickly turning and leaving the room.  She didn’t want to give him the chance to talk her out of this.

Bella opened her bedroom door to find Alice and Rosalie waiting for her.

“Bella you can’t leave!  We are going to miss you so much.” Alice pleaded.

Bella couldn’t look into the face of the woman who was truly a sister to her.  She headed to the closet and pulled out the flattened boxes she had found the other day.  She pulled them out and began assembling one.

“Alice, as much as I love you all, I need to start living my own life.  I want to go to school and see new places.” Bella spit out the rehearsed speech that she had concocted this morning.

She stopped short when Alice was immediately in front of her.

“But Bella, you can go to school anywhere and we can move to England with you if that is where you want to go.  The climate there is perfect for us.” She said as she pulled the box from Bella.

Bella sighed and began to build another box.  “Alice this is not the point and you know it.  Carlisle gave me three choices and I made the one that is best for me; best for everyone.” She said the last part under her breath but Alice heard her of course.

“It is not best for everyone.  You are a part of this family.  It doesn’t work without you.” Alice said as she tried to take the second box form Bella, but she held firm.

“You and I both know that’s not true, Alice.  You all functioned fine for fifty odd years before me and you will go on without me the very same way.  Besides, I make everything off balance.  You all have to hunt at least twice as often to control your inclination to kill me.  The smell of human food disgusts each one of you.  Not to mention Carlisle gave up his job just to take care of me when I was catatonic.  Now that I won’t be around, you all can go on with your lives.  You can go back to school if you want and Carlisle can go back to the hospital.  I am not going to be a burden any longer.” She found strength in the truth behind her words.

Bella struggled to get the box from Alice until she finally allowed her to have it.  Bella began packing her clothes in it.  Through all this Rosalie had remained silent, but she spoke as she got up to help Bella pack.

“Bella, if you really want to leave, then I won’t stop you.” She paused and placed her cold hand gently on Bella’s arm, “but if you are doing this because you think you are ‘a burden’ to us then you need to stop.  Alice is right.  You are just as much a part of this family as Ali and I.  If you want to stay, you should stay.” Her voice was completely sincere.

Bella could not look into Rosalie’s eyes because she knew she would break down.  With her eyes staring into the half packed box she responded.

“I am doing this for me, Rose.”

“And this has nothing to do with what Tanya and Irina said the other day?” Rosalie pushed.

Bella shook her head.  Words failed her.  Rosalie was never her biggest fan in the beginning, but now she was not just her sister, she was her protector as well.  She couldn’t lie to her.

“I…I just need to go.”

Bella felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes and she blinked them back willing them not to fall and give her away.

Rosalie sighed hard, “If this is what you really want, then I will help you.  You pack and I’ll arrange your flight and make sure your stuff gets shipped to you.”

“Thanks Rose.” Bella said as she finally lifted her eyes from the box.

The beautiful vampire smiled warmly at her.  Rosalie logged onto Carlisle’s computer to set up the flight itinerary.  She also contacted the house service that they had over in Surrey.  She emailed them that the house needed to be opened and have the kitchen stocked.  Bella had no idea of the assets the Cullen’s had all over the world.  Rosalie was sure that Bella would like this house.  It actually belonged to her and Emmett.  They vacationed there from time to time.  As much as she wanted Bella to stay with them, she would never begrudge her decision to live out her human life.  If it was her, that is what she would choose.

Alice refused to help with Bella’s plans to leave. She made her way to her room and flopped down on the loveseat by the bay window.  She kept thinking of different ways to try and convince Bella to stay and would wait for the vision to come to her.  But each time it ended with her leaving. 

The boys also tried to convince her to stay but to no avail.  Emmett was hurt and angry that he couldn’t fix this.  He went out into the woods and began knocking down trees in frustration.  Jasper joined Alice in their room.  He watched the hope and then aggravation play across her face repeatedly.  He rubbed soothing circles on her back trying to help her stay calm, but she was too upset for it to do much good.

Carmen knocked gently on their open door before stepping in; concern clearly written on her face. 

“Alice, Jasper, what’s going on? The whole house is in unrest.”

Jasper motioned for Carmen to sit in the plush chair in their sitting area.

“Bella has decided to leave us and move to Europe.  The family is not taking the news well.” He explained.

“Well, that might be the understatement of the century.  Eleazar is out back trying to calm Emmett down before he takes down every tree within a fifteen mile radius.” She smiled softly trying to lighten the mood but then went on, “Carlisle is standing in the kitchen just staring out the window.  He has not moved in at least an hour.  Did Bella say why she was leaving?  I thought she was happy here.  I actually thought she and Carlisle might… I mean the way they were always together.  I just thought…”

Jasper nodded sadly. “As did we.”

The three vampires sat in silence as Alice continued to search different scenarios but none gave her the outcome she wanted.

Bella continued packing up her things.  Rosalie gave her a suitcase to use and a carry-on duffle.  It gave her enough space to pack what she would need to get her by till her boxes would arrive.  Emmett had calmed down enough to come in and make Bella a sandwich and soup for lunch.  He brought it to the room but left right away.  It was too painful to watch her getting ready to leave.

“So, your first flight leaves from the Prince Albert Airport at noon.  Since it is at least an hour drive there, we should plan to leave at nine.  This flight will take you into JFK International in New York City.  Then you will have a two hour layover until your flight to London Heathrow Airport.  I have already reserved you a rental car there until you get settled and buy your own.”

Bella smiled at her most unlikely ally.  “Thank you so much for doing this Rose.  It means a lot to me.”

Rose stood up from the desk and walked over to sit on the bed as Bella taped the latest box shut.  She wondered how she managed to accumulate so much in such a short period of time, but then Alice’s name floated across her consciousness.

“Bella, are you sure you won’t reconsider?  Maybe just staying till after Christmas?  Alice and Emmett would be overjoyed and Carlisle…”

She saw Bella flinch when she said Carlisle’s name.

“Bella?” she stood and walked over as Bella ducked into her closet to grab the clothes she was packing in the suitcase.

“Bella?  What is going on?  Did Carlisle hurt you?” her voice was tentative.

Bella whipped around with wide shocked eyes.

“What!?!  No!  Of course not!  Carlisle would never hurt anyone.”

“Then why did you flinch when I said his name?” Rosalie asked.

“I didn’t.” Bella denied.

“You did!  I saw you.”

Bella shook her head.  She continued to hurry and pack her things.

“Bella,” Rosalie’s voice was deep with warning, “what aren’t you telling me?”

Bella stopped moving and set the shirts she was holding into the suitcase.  She turned towards the prying eyes that were set on cracking this mystery.

“Just drop it Rose.  Carlisle has his life to live and I will have mine.  It is as it should be.  I will not be the reason that he doesn’t find happiness.  Now, leave it be.” Her stare told Rosalie that she would not speak on this subject anymore.

It was dark out when Bella finished packing.  She knew that everyone wanted to spend time with her before she left.  Alice thought that karaoke would be a great way to have some fun for her last night with them.  Bella did not fancy herself a singer, but was willing to go along since it was her last night.  They all threw their names in a hat.  Even the Denali’s got in on the action.

Emmett’s name was first and got up on stage.  He scrolled through the list of songs and pressed in the number code.  He grabbed the microphone and the first beats of the music began.  Everyone howled with laughter as he shook his butt and sang Britney Spears’ ‘Oops I Did It Again’.  Rosalie, Alice and Bella were falling over each other as he danced around on the mini stage.  Kate came into the room and sat on the armrest of the chair where Carlisle was.  Bella had to turn away before it was too much.

Alice and Rosalie got up next and did a duo to Pink’s ‘Raise your Glass’.  Everyone clapped and cheered as the guys did catcalls at their wives.

Carmen was next and sang a love song that Bella had never heard before.  She watched as Carmen looked directly at Eleazar the whole time she sang.  It pained Bella to see that kind of love between two people that she would never have.  She couldn’t help herself and turned to look over at Carlisle.  He was looking at her as Kate leaned across the back of his chair.  Bella turned quickly back towards the stage as Carmen finished her song.  She stepped down and Eleazar pulled her into his lap and kissed her shoulder.  Bella felt another stab of pain to her heart.

Kate was next and sang ‘Gett Off’ by Prince.  She swayed her hips and gyrated to the sultry beat of the music.  She practically stripped Carlisle with her eyes, but he never moved nor gave her an ounce of encouragement.

Jasper jumped up on stage when Alice pulled his name.  As soon as the first three beats of the music played the girls moaned in agony calling out together, “Not again!”

Jasper just smiled his lazy smile and began singing,

‘You can tell the world you never was my girl
You can burn my clothes when I'm gone
Or you can tell your friends just what a fool I've been
And laugh and joke about me on the phone’

Bella had to laugh at Jasper as he sang his heart out to ‘Achy Breaky Heart’.  Carlisle looked over and a sad smile spread across his lips.  He loved to hear her laugh and he knew after tonight it was going to be a long time before he was blessed to hear it again.  He kept thinking about what Rosalie had said to him about ‘not being the only one who loved Bella’.  It was true that he loved her, but he loved all of his family.  But was it more?  When Kate was kissing him, it didn’t feel wrong because it wasn’t Esme.  If felt wrong because it wasn’t Bella.  It was Bella that he wanted to kiss.  It was Bella that he wanted to hold.  And it was Bella that he wanted to spend the rest of his existence with.  The realization hit him like a two ton truck.  He was in love with Bella! 

But she was leaving…tomorrow.  She chose to leave.  How was he supposed to tell her now?  He promised her that he would respect which ever life she chose, and she decided to live on her own.  He was deep in his own mind when he heard Alice call Bella’s name.

Bella tripped up onto the stage but caught herself before she fell.  She was red with embarrassment.  Alice hopped up with her to help her work the karaoke machine.

“Here Bella.  I think this song is perfect for you.” Alice winked as she plugged in the numbers then jumped back down to her seat.

The music began and Bella smiled to herself as she realized the song Alice had picked.

‘All my bags are packed,
I'm ready to go,
I'm standing here,
Outside your door,
I hate to wake you up to say Good Bye.
But the dawn is breakin', It's early morn`,
The taxi's waiting, he’s blowin' his horn.
Already I'm so lonesome I could die.’

Her voice was soft, but it fit the tenor of the lyrics perfectly.

‘So kiss me and smile for me,
Tell me that you’ll wait for me,
Hold me, like you’ll never let me go.
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane,
Don't know when I'll be back again,
Oh Babe I hate to go.’

She looked down at her brothers and sisters and smiled at them.  They were her family in every way that counted.  Then her gaze ghosted over to Carlisle and the way he looked at her made tears well up in her eyes.  There was pain and what looked like love.  But she knew it wasn’t for her.  She began to choke up on the last refrain and set the microphone down.

“I’m sorry.  I…I can’t.” she whispered.

She ran down the stairs with the others calling after her.  They could have easily caught up to her but kept to a human pace.  She went into her room and closed the door behind her.  Jasper knocked on the door.

“Bella darlin’, are you alright?” he asked.

“I’m fine Jasper.  I am just really tired.” She lied.

“Bella it’s Ali, can I come in?” Alice called through the door.

“No Alice.  I am just going to go to bed.  I will see you guys in the morning.  Sorry if I ruined your plans.” She clutched at her chest as the pain inside raged.

“You didn’t ruin anything sweetie.  Have a good sleep.” Alice said as she walked away with everyone but Carlisle.

He waited till he heard Bella go into the bathroom and come back out.  He knew she would be ready for bed then.  He opened the door and stepped in to find the lights out and Bella curled up on her side under the blankets.  She was turned away from him.  He crawled into bed next to her and for the first time she shrank away from him.

“Carlisle, would you mind?” her voice was barely audible, “I’d like to be alone tonight.”

It took everything in her to send him away, but she knew it had to be done.  She was doing it for him.  Kate should be his priority now and Bella was sure she wouldn’t want him sharing a bed with another woman; even if she was a human woman.

“Of course, Bella.  I apologize.” He said as he got off the bed and walked to the door.  He swore he could feel his soul splintering as he distanced himself from her. “Sweet dreams Bella.” He whispered as he closed the door.

Bella bit the inside of her cheek to hold back the tears that begged to break free.  It was no longer just her heart that ached.  Her whole being was pulsating with the agony of leaving her love behind.  She eventually gave in to sleep, thankful for the reprieve from the agonizing pain.

Carlisle felt lost as to what he should do now.  This was the first time in almost a year that he had not spent the night in Bella’s presence and more recently with her in his arms.  He looked down at his empty limbs and his sadness grew ten-fold.  I need to get used to this.  She is leaving me tomorrow.  Just the thought of it caused him to feel a great pain in the center of his being.  He couldn’t stand to be this close and not be with her.  He went out onto the front porch and sat in the wooden swing letting the cold nocturnal air blow against him.  As hard as it was to be near her, it was so much worse to be away.  This was as far as he could go. 

He sat there letting his mind take him to happier times.  He thought about the sound of Bella’s laughter when Emmett would do his victory dance after winning a game.  He thought about her sleeping on their couch in front of the fire and how she would curl her hand over his arm or leg as if she was trying to secure him there.  He closed his eyes to see her more clearly, but then his eyes shot open as he heard a whimper.  He was outside his bedroom door a split second later.  Jasper was already there focusing peace and lethargy through the door.

He turned towards Carlisle, “Nightmare.” Was all he said.

Carlisle nodded in understanding.  He listened to Bella’s heart rate go back to a slower pace, but the whimpering continued on and off throughout the night.

The next morning Bella noticed that the Denali’s were conspicuously missing when she walked into the kitchen.

Rosalie answered her questioning glance, “Eleazar, Carmen and Kate went into town this morning…to give us some space.”

Bella nodded in understanding.

“What would you like for breakfast Bells?” Emmett asked as he started heating up the griddle.

“I’m not really hungry this morning, Emmett.  I just want some coffee.”

Emmett was disappointed that he would get to fix her one last meal but poured her a cup and handed it to her.  She leaned back against the counter and drank.  No one was talking.  They all just stood and stared.

Bella broke the silence, “Hey guys, it is not like I am going to Mars.  I am only an ocean away.”

Alice walked up to Carlisle who had positioned himself by the window staring out into the now deforested expanse.  She spoke quickly so that Bella couldn’t hear, “I need to speak to you, now.”

Bella watched Carlisle follow Alice out of the kitchen and down to her and Jasper’s room.  She was confused but continued to drink her coffee.

“Now remember Bella, you need to drive on the opposite side of the road.  No acting like a stupid American and driving on the right side of the road.” Emmett quipped.

Alice closed the door behind Carlisle once he entered her room.  She turned on him with venom in her eyes.

“Carlisle, you need to tell her.”

“What are you talking about, Alice?”

“You know exactly what I am talking about.  Tell Bella that you love her.” Alice insisted.

Carlisle huffed and ran his hands mercilessly through his hair, “I can’t Alice.  I promised I would respect her decision.  I can’t ask her to stay if she wants to go.  It is not right.”

“Damn it Carlisle!  She doesn’t want to go.  She thinks she is doing what is right for us.  You need to tell her, and you need to tell her now!”

Bella finished her coffee and rinsed out the mug.  She headed down to her room and took one last look around.  She grabbed her carry-on but it was quickly removed from her shoulder.  She turned to see Jasper with a sad smile on his face.

“Let me darlin’.” She nodded and released the handle. “I am really going to miss you, Bella.  Please promise that you will come back to the States to visit us now and again.”

Bella smiled softly at him, “I promise Jasper.”

He nodded and grabbed her suitcase as if it weighed nothing.  They walked down the hall to Rosalie and Emmett who were waiting to say goodbye.  She didn’t know where Alice and Carlisle were.

Emmett reached her first wrapping her in one of his classic bear hugs.  He had learned how to apply just the right about of pressure so as to not hurt her.

“I’m gonna miss you brother bear.” She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Not as much as I am going to miss you.” He said, “Take care, okay?”

“I promise.”

He set her down and released her from his embrace.  Rosalie stepped up and opened her arms.  Bella did the same and they embraced warmly.

“You will always have a home with us.  You can come back anytime you want.” She spoke softly.

Bella nodded.  She felt the tears try to make their reappearance and speaking would let them loose.  When they pulled away Bella saw Alice stomp into the room with Carlisle behind her.  Alice grabbed her purse and keys.  She grabbed the suitcase from Jasper and headed out the door.  She would be the only one taking her to the airport as per Bella’s request.

Carlisle walked up to her and she stepped forward.  She didn’t feel like she could hug him and then be expected to let go, so she kept her arms at her side.  His body hummed with the need to touch her.  He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and beg her not to go.  The others stood by and watched.  Jasper felt the pain radiating off of both of them.  This was so hard for him to bear witness to.

“Thank you for everything Carlisle.  I really hope you will be happy.” She said formally.  She was doing all she could to hold back her real emotions.

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.” He responded.

She reached to take her duffle from Jasper then stepped back and turned towards the door. “Don’t eat any bad elk.” She said with a quick smile and then she was out the door.

She was walking down the stairs to the walkway.  Each step further away from him was killing Carlisle.  He couldn’t do it.  He couldn’t let her go.  God forgive me.

He shot out the door and called out to her.

“Bella!”

She turned and he was in front of her without delay.  She looked at him with confusion as the tears had finally won out and were streaming down her face.

“What is it?” she asked as she quickly wiped the wetness off her cheeks.

He reached for her hands, “Bella please don’t leave me.”

Her eyes went wide as his hands held hers tightly. 

“I don’t understand.” She choked out.

“Bella, please don’t leave me.  I can’t stand the thought of you being away from me.” He leveled her with his gaze so that she would feel the truth in every word he spoke. “Bella, I am in love with you.”

A/N

Karaoke song Credits

‘Leaving on a Jet Plane’ was written by John Denver, but I love the version song by Chantal Kreviazuk.

‘Achy Breaky Heart’ by Billy Ray Cyrus

‘Oops I Did It Again’ by Britney Spears

‘Gett Off’ by Prince

‘Raise your Glass’ by Pink