AVitD- Chapter 13

Chapter 13~ A Change of Heart

Bella stood as still as a vampire.  He what?  What did he say?  She replayed the last thirty seconds over in her mind.  He…loves me?  Wait!  No, this can’t be right.  What about Kate?  What about that kiss?

“No, no, no,” she chanted as she shook her head in denial, “You’re not in love with me.  You can’t be.”

Carlisle was thankful that Alice had shooed the others back into the house.  If Bella was going to reject his love and leave, it would be easier to take without an audience.  No less painful, just less embarrassing.  He watched Bella pace back and forth on the sidewalk like a caged animal.  She kept mumbling different things that even Carlisle’s keen hearing could not decipher.  He was at a loss as to what to do.  He had just handed his heart to her on a silver platter and he stood in wait; wondering if she would accept it or crush it.

He had noticed his growing feelings for her since she had woken up, but he did not allow himself to act on it.  Vampires have the ability to process emotions quicker than humans.  He would always love and cherish his time with Esme, but he was also aware of the love he had for Bella and how it had changed over the past two months.  He knew that Bella’s heart was broken over the loss of Edward.  He did not know if she was open to accepting a new love especially from another vampire.  She had accepted his companionship so easily; would he be as lucky with his love and devotion?

Bella continued to pace.  She still held her carry-on bag over her shoulder.  Carlisle figured that it had to be getting heavy.  He resolved to interrupt her mumbling rant.  He reached out in an attempt to take the bag from her, but she quickly grabbed onto it as if it was a life preserver in the middle of a storm at sea.

“Bella, why don’t we go inside and discuss this? He suggested hopefully.

Her eyes went wide and wild; she stopped pacing immediately.

“What?  No.  I have to go.  I have a plane to catch.  The flight plan is set.  Rose got me a house to live in and…and…and if I don’t leave now, I am going to miss it.” She spoke so quickly the words overlapped.

The whole situation was chaotically thrashing around in her head so she instantly reverted to decisions that were already set.  She didn’t have to think about what he said or about what she saw.  She didn’t have to think about anything other than getting to the airport and getting on the plane.  Why can’t I think straight?  My choice was made.  He gave me three options and I made mine.  When I was with Edward, the decision to join him for an eternity was easy.  And when I allowed myself to dream of a future with Carlisle, I couldn’t picture it any other way then with both of us as equals; as vampires.  But then Kate stepped in and he chose her.  It broke my heart to leave, but I knew I did not want to spend an eternity alone.  That is why I decided to go out on my own.  I was supposed to leave.  That was the plan.

Carlisle’s face fell.  He couldn’t stop the hurt that overcame him.  He should have known it was too much to hope for.  She was intelligent and beautiful.  Her presence radiated warmth and love.  He should have been grateful for the time he had with her and not pushed for more. 

“As you wish.” He whispered.

He let go of the handle of her bag allowing the weight of it to rest back on her shoulder.  He looked away.  It was too painful to look at her now.  She was going to leave and take his heart with her.  Bella saw the anguish on his face and she pulled herself out of her perfunctory haze.

“Wait Carlisle.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

He turned his face back to hers at the sound of her voice.

“I thought you were, you know, with Kate.” she said quietly.

It was Carlisle’s turn to look confused, “I have never been with Kate.  She is family, just as Carmen and Eleazar are family.  Nothing more.”

Bella shook her head, “No.  No, I saw the two of you kissing yesterday morning in the back by the woods.  And then the way she was sitting with you last night and the song she sang…”

Understanding lit up Carlisle’s face as he stepped towards her and took her hands in his.

“Bella, that was all Kate, not me.  She took me by surprise when she kissed me yesterday after the hunt.  I told her that I wasn’t in love with her and that there could never be anything between us.”

Bella wanted so badly to believe what he was saying. “But that doesn’t make sense.  She is beautiful and strong and perfect and above all else she is a vampire.  She is everything that I am not.” The sadness in her voice was so thick.

Carlisle wanted to cry when he realized how much the idea that she was not good enough hurt her.  He bent down so that his face was level with hers and he locked his gaze with her eyes that looked as if they could break into tears at any moment.

“Bella, Kate may be a beautiful vampire, but she is not the one who possesses my heart.”

She sucked in a sudden breath as she studied his butterscotch eyes.  Her chocolate brown ones began to fill with tears as she heard the next words he said to her.

“You are the only one I want, Bella.  You are my everything.”

The weight of his words made the air around Bella heavy.  Her bag slid down her arm and was caught where Carlisle still held onto her hand.  Gravity was her worst enemy as her knees buckled.  Carlisle quickly released her hands and wrapped his arms around her pulling her body into his.  Her tears were flowing free at this point and he wasn’t sure if they were happy or sad tears.

“Bella?”

The only response he received was the feel of her hot tears soaking through his shirt causing it to stick to his chest.

“Bella, sweetheart?  Please say something?” he pleaded as he continued to keep her braced against his chest.

She took a stuttering breath then Carlisle heard the words that he thought may never pass her lips, “I love you too Carlisle.”

The shock of her declaration took his breath away and he gasped.  Bella looked up to see elation replace the surprise on his beautiful face.  She smiled softly and he leaned down and kissed her forehead before he pulled her flush against his chest once more.  They stood like this as the gentle snow fell around them.  Bella’s weaker human ears did not allow her to hear them, but Carlisle heard the others loud and clear as they cheered and laughed from somewhere inside the house.

He held her securely in his arms for the longest time.  He didn’t want to move and break the precious bubble they were in.  At this moment it was as if they were the only two people in the world, but he knew that if they didn’t go inside soon that they would not be alone much longer.  There were four vampires itching to welcome Bella back home even though she never actually left.

“We should go inside.” He said into her hair.

Bella nodded in agreement but did not say anything.  She had already said everything he needed to hear.  She loves me. Kept replaying in his head.

Carlisle slipped her bag over his shoulder and turned them towards the house.  He kept one arm around her waist to assure that she was real and was still with him.  He had her now and wanted to hold her forever.  They walked in the door and Bella was surrounded as Emmett was the first to pull her from Carlisle’s hold.  He knew that he was not the only one excited about Bella staying and he restrained his instinct to pull her back.  He needed to share her…for now.  Bella was suspended off the floor as Emmett hugged her tightly.  She laughed at his exuberance.

“Put her down you big oaf,” Rosalie chastised.

Emmett complied, setting Bella back on the floor.  Rosalie pulled her into a hug.

“So…no England?” she asked smiling.

Bella returned the smile, “Not today.  Someday yes, but not today.”

Carlisle couldn’t help the dread that settled over him at her words.  And as if she could feel his change in emotion she turned her head towards him.

“…and definitely not alone.” She smiled at him reassuringly before turning back to face Rosalie, “But thank you so much for supporting my decision.  I know it wasn’t easy for you.”

Rosalie nodded and smiled, “I have some travel plans to cancel.” She said as she made her way over to the computer in the kitchen.

Alice was next to have Bella wrapped in her arms.  “Don’t even think about leaving us again.  Do you hear me?”

“Yes Alice.” Bella agreed, rolling her eyes, “It’s not like you didn’t see me deciding to stay.”

Alice pulled back to look at her, “I didn’t.  Not until you made the decision to do so and that was only ten minutes ago.  Up until then all I could see was you in England,” she hugged her again and whispered, “and you were miserable there by the way.  But then, so was Carlisle, here without you.”

Bella nodded into her shoulder understanding that Alice was absolutely right.  She would have been miserable away from Carlisle.  She hugged the pixie tighter.  Bella looked over Alice’s shoulder to see Jasper standing there smiling.  He reached his hand out to her which she gladly took.  Bella knew that he cared for her, but the incident from her birthday always made him feel like he needed to keep his physical distance from her.  He squeezed her hand gently and sent her happiness, relief and love.  She had never experienced his gift while he touched her and her face lit up as the emotions ran through her like they were truly her own.  She focused her feelings on gratitude and love and Jasper smiled in return.

“I’m glad you decided to stay home, Jasper said with his slight southern drawl, “where you belong.”

He squeezed her delicate fingers one last time then let go. Alice finally released Bella from her grasp and then spun around so she was standing next to Jasper holding his hand.

“Come on Jazzy.  Let’s go for a run.”

“Whatever makes you happy, darlin’.”

Rosalie walked back into the living room, “Everything is all taken care of.” She smiled at Bella.

“Thanks again Rose.” Bella said as Carlisle helped her out of her coat.

Rosalie nodded and turned towards Emmett who was still standing there with a ridiculous grin on his face.

“Hey monkey man, wanna give me a hand in the garage?  I gotta change out the shocks and struts on your jeep if we are going to take the Denali’s cave exploring later.”

“Man-jack at your service.” He winked at Bella and headed out to the garage with his wife.

Bella took a deep breath and her stomach rumbled.  She blushed as her hands went to her middle.

“Hungry?” Carlisle asked.

Bella nodded, “I think my appetite just came back with a vengeance.”

“Come on.  Let’s see what we can put together for you.”

He offered his hand which she gladly took and they walked into the kitchen together.

After Bella finished eating, she washed her dishes while Carlisle dried and put them away.  She smiled to herself as she thought about how very ‘domestic’ the whole scene was.  They had not spoken at all with the exception of Bella thanking Carlisle for the Monte Cristo sandwich that he made her.

When they were finished in the kitchen, they headed upstairs to the family room; fingers entwined.  They sat and watched the snow fall.  Bella was wrapped in an afghan and snuggled into Carlisle’s side.  The room was filled with the soft music he had turned on with the remote for the iHome.  He couldn’t get over the peace that enveloped his heart and soul as he held Bella in his arms.  He never believed he could have this again.  He thought when he lost Esme that he would be a widower till the end of his days.  He didn’t believe he deserved the blessing that was the stunning brunette by his side.  But as much as he felt he was unworthy, he would thank God every day for disagreeing with him.

Bella took in a deep breath filling her lungs with the scent that was all Carlisle.  She sighed in contentment feeling his arms embrace her a bit tighter.  She was in awe of him.  She didn’t believe that he could love her, but as she turned her head to look at him she saw it there in his eyes.  He truly loved her with every fiber of his being.  She reached up to caress his beatific face.  It was so perfect that it must have been chiseled by God Himself.  Bella wanted to kiss him so badly.

Carlisle felt the desire deep inside to press his lips against Bella’s supple ones.  He watched as she pressed her teeth into her bottom lip.  He wanted to pull it free and gently suck it between his own.  He could hear her heart begin to pick up and he knew she wanted it just as badly.  That’s when he heard a phone vibrate out in the garage at the same time a car was pulling up the driveway.

“I got it covered Alice.” He heard Rosalie say.

The front door opened and Eleazar, Carmen and Kate came in.  Kate had been anxious to get back to the house and ‘console’ Carlisle after Bella had left.  Instantly Rosalie was in front of her.

“Whatever you are thinking about doing…don’t.” she placed her manicured hand in front of Kate stopping her in her tracks.

Kate looked confused, “I have no idea what you are talking about, Rose.  I was just looking for Carlisle.” She responded as she tried to maneuver around Rosalie.

Rose stepped in front of her again, “That is exactly what I am talking about.”

Eleazar spoke up then, “Why do I hear a heartbeat?  Is Bella still here?”

Rosalie turned to answer with a full smile, “Yes, she is,” she returned her focus on a sour looking Kate and said just loud enough to hear it, “and if you know what is good for you, you will keep your distance from both Bella and Carlisle for the extent of your visit.  Edward may no longer be here to read your mind, but Alice can still see your intentions and Jasper can feel exactly what you are feeling.” She pointed a finger into Kate’s chest, “So, I suggest you wipe that look off your face and play nice…or else.”

Rosalie stepped back and smiled as she heard Carlisle and Bella descend the stairs.

“Please excuse me; I left Emmett holding the jeep.  We should be ready to go in about a half an hour.”

“Sounds fantastic Rose, thank you,” Carmen replied sweetly, “it has been ages since we went spelunking.”

Rosalie was gone like a breeze as Bella and Carlisle made it to the bottom of the stairs.  Carmen noticed instantly that their fingers were interlocked together and she smiled.

“Are you and Bella joining us today?” she asked of Carlisle.

“No.  I think we are just going to spend a quiet day in.  Does that sound good to you, sweetheart?” he asked as he kissed the back of the hand he was holding.

Bella blushed at the way he spoke to her.  She nodded, “That sounds perfect.”

Kate bit her tongue hard enough to draw venom and winced at the self-inflicted wound before it healed.  Her first instinct was to grab her things and head home to her sisters, but she didn’t.  She put on a fake smile and ‘played nice’ as Rosalie had so eloquently put it.  She wasn’t giving up on the idea of her and Carlisle.  Bella was nothing more than a human.  I can wait her out.

Kate sauntered across the room, “I am going to go change into more appropriate attire for the caves.” She said as her hands ran over her hips in an attempt to draw Carlisle’s attention to her perfect figure.  It didn’t work, even though she was wearing a sinfully tight and low cut red sweater dress with knee high black stiletto boots.

Kate huffed in frustration once she got to the guest room; frustrated but undeterred.  Pulling out a pair of black skinny jeans and a sleek workout shirt that hugged every immortal curve she smiled deviously.  She braided her long corn-silk hair and made her way back to the living room where everyone was sitting in wait.  By now Alice and Jasper had returned from their outing. 

Kate swallowed the venom that pooled in her mouth when she watched Carlisle push a strand of hair behind Bella’s ear.  The touch was so gentle and intimate.  Her jealousy burned inside her and Jasper cocked his head and quirked an eyebrow in her direction.  Kate could feel the electricity tingle along her skin.  Just one good shock and I’ll bet I could stop that annoying beating heart of hers.  The calm waves Jasper was sending hit her, causing her to turn and notice his piercing stare and Kate quickly reined in her emotions.

“Well, what are we waiting for?  Let’s get going!” she called to the group in her melodic voice.

Jasper kept a wary eye on her as the others readied themselves to go.

“How are we going to get there?  We can’t all possibly fit in your Jeep?” Carmen inquired.

“Oh we won’t,” Rosalie explained, “that is why we are taking Emmett’s Jeep and my new Hummer.” She said with pride.

Alice began bouncing and giggling, “A race!  How fun!”

Emmett perked up, “Guys versus girls?”

“Would they have it any other way?” Jasper asked as he knocked into his brother’s shoulder.

“Alright Eleazar, you are with us.” Emmett waved his arm towards where he and Jasper now stood, “Carmen and Kate you are with Ali and Rose.”

Carlisle chuckled, “I’ve got a fifty that says the Jeep doesn’t come back without at least some damage to the front bumper or the undercarriage.”

Emmett clapped his hands over his heart, “I’m wounded.  You think so little of my driving skills?”

“Only when there is a competition added to the mix.”

Bella giggled at Emmett’s expression.

“Et tu Bella?” he pointed an accusing finger at the red faced woman, “Alright, I’ll take that bet and show you both.”

“I’d like to switch cars.” Eleazar said raising his hand like a child.

“Come on you traitor,” Emmett called as he looped his arm in Eleazar’s.

Bella and Carlisle were both in a fit of laughter as they waved to everyone as they left.  Bella could hear Alice laying out the rules.

After the two engines roared to life and tore off the property Bella finally stopped laughing.  Her cheeks were flushed from the laughter.  Carlisle reached up and cupped her cheek.  Bella leaned into his cool touch and savored the contrast between her skin and his.  She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment.  Carlisle was about to kiss her when Bella began to yawn.  She was exceptionally tired since her sleep the night before was riddled with nightmares.  Carlisle pulled back frustrated that once more he was stopped from kissing her delectable lips.

“You look tired, sweetheart.  Do you want to go and lie down for a little while?”

Bella shook her head but another yawn slipped out.  She chuckled in embarrassment, “Maybe a little, but I don’t want to go to bed.”

“Well then here,” he shifted so that his body was lounging on the couch towards the outside edge.  He patted his chest, “come lie here and rest your eyes for a bit.”

Bella smiled and quickly snuggled in between him and the back of the couch.  Carlisle pulled a blanket off the back and wrapped it around her.  She felt secure and loved.

“Comfortable?” he asked as he combed her hair back from her face.

“Mmm hmm, perfect.”

He couldn’t agree more.  He felt her heart beat above his silent one as she wrapped her hand in his and rested it on his chest.  He breathed in her pure scent and closed his eyes imaging holding her like this one hundred years from now.

“Perfect.” He whispered.