AVitD- Chapter 9

Chapter 9~Picking Up The Pieces

Within a week Bella had regained her footing and was working hard to rebuild her muscle tone.  She was quickly being restored to a healthier state than before her suicide attempt thanks to the personal gym Carlisle had purchased for her.  Her sleeping was precarious as she still suffered from the occasional nightmare.  Carlisle discovered that if he held her as she slept that the nightmares would stop.  He wasn’t sure what was causing them.  Bella refused to speak of them and the only clue that Jasper had was that her emotions ranged from guilt to loss.  Bella woke each morning to the feeling of being protected in the strength of Carlisle’s embrace.  She never questioned why he was there; she was just grateful that he was. 

Bella fell into a comfortable routine very similar to that of when she was still catatonic.  She had spotty memories of that time, but she knew this felt normal, natural.  She would get up each morning and shower while Carlisle would make her breakfast.  He would sit down and read the local news on the internet while she ate.  Then they would head out for a walk. 

They were taking a leisurely stroll around the border of the property on this overcast morning.  She had faint memories of taking similar walks while she was still locked within herself.  She looped her arm through his as he rested his free hand on top of hers.  It seemed natural and comfortable to be with him this way.  This was the way he always walked with her.  During that time it was for support, but now it was for comfort.  They often talked about nonsensical things; whatever might pop into Bella’s head.

“So, you guys don’t feed on fish?” she asked.

“No,” he chuckled, “They do not have a substantial blood supply and they have an unusual aftertaste; almost fishy.” Carlisle responded wrinkling his nose.

Bella laughed, but talking about fish made her mind turn towards thoughts of Charlie.  She was brought back to her most recent dream of him.  He was searching for her in the woods, but he couldn’t find her.  She wasn’t there to take care of him and he ended up starving to death.  She knew it was irrational, but she couldn’t help the guilt she carried for leaving him the way she did.  Carlisle felt her demeanor shift as her voice fell away.

“Bella sweetheart, what is it?”  Carlisle asked fighting the instinct to go into a defensive crouch in front of her.

Bella saw the wariness in his eyes, and she squeezed his hand in reassurance.

“Do you know… do you know what Charlie thinks happened to me? She asked in a near childlike voice.

It made Carlisle sad to see the guilt and pain on her beautiful face.  He pulled her over to a fallen tree that lay on the edge of the woods.  They sat and Carlisle held her fragile hands inside his indestructible ones.  He took a deep breath before explaining.

“Do you remember that day you left Charlie’s?” he asked; not sure of how much she retained through her dark period.

Bella nodded, “I left him a note stating I was leaving.”

Carlisle pushed the hair behind her shoulder that had blown forward with the wind. 

“Yes.” Carlisle steeled himself to the memory of that day and how close he came to losing her. “When I found you it was very nearly too late.  I worked quickly and had torn the sleeves from your shirt to get to your wounds faster.  I stitched your arms closed and carried you back to the house.  The others had left due to the amount of blood you lost.  They didn’t want to take any chances.  Alice kept getting blind spots in her visions so she suggested that Emmett and Rose steak out the meadow while she and Jasper did the same at your house. 

“It seems that Jacob came by your house looking for you and Charlie showed him your note.  Jacob offered to help Charlie try and find you.  Charlie had headed towards the south while Jacob was able to follow your scent…” Carlisle paused, “You do know that Jacob is a shape shifter, yes?” Bella nodded so he carried on.

“Jacob found your truck and must have followed your scent to the meadow.  Luckily Emmett and Rosalie were at a high enough vantage point that Jacob did not smell them.  Rosalie and Emmett told me Jacob found your torn, blood soaked clothes mixed with my scent and he began to rage.  He burst into his wolf form and howled at the top of his lungs as he dug and rutted at the ground.  Soon he was joined by three other wolves who all seemed thoroughly agitated.  Rosalie and Emmett quickly made their way back to the house.  They were uneasy being outnumbered and away from Alice and Jasper.”

Bella shuttered thinking about what may have happened if they had not left when they did.  She knew that she would have lost another person that she cared about.

Carlisle went on, “Alice and Jasper followed your father to the police station and were in the trees outside when Jacob and Sam Uley walked in with the remnants of your shirt in hand.  They explained to him that they believed that you were killed by the ‘bear’ that had been responsible for several other attacks in the area.  The honest story was that they believed one of our kind had found you and either killed you or changed you into one of us; as Alice overheard their conversation before walking in to see Charlie.”

Carlisle waited for a few moments before going on to the next part which he knew would be hard for her to hear.  Bella turned to listen to a solitary bird calling out in the cold morning air.  She looked like a broken angel the way her skin pinked up from the cold as it kissed her cheeks.  Her eyes were looking off in the distance; taking her back to Forks.  She took a couple of deep breaths letting the cool air fill her lungs before turning back to Carlisle.  She knew there was more.  He held her hands a little tighter as he went on.

“He didn’t want to believe it.  He drove up and down the roads of Forks looking for you.  He came by our home in the morning which prompted us to pack up quickly and leave.  He must have contacted Jacob and insisted that he show him where your shirt was found.  Alice’s visions are intermitted, we believe, when the wolves are involved.  She was able to see Charlie in the meadow.  When he saw the blood and the ruts caused by an animal’s paw large enough to be a bear he accepted Jacob and Sam’s theory.  He did not take the news well, Bella.  He fell to the ground crying as he held your shirt.”

He looked and saw the silent tears stream down her cheeks.  The slightest bit of steam rose as the hot liquid met her chilled skin.  He handed her a handkerchief.  She accepted and mentally smiled at his old world ways.

“That was when we made the decision to sell the Forks house.” He said quietly.

Bella’s eyes shot up to his in question.

“Bella, we can never live there again.  The Quileute believe that we have broken the treaty.  Not only that, but there are too many bad memories to haunt us there.  We had our attorney hire a moving company.  Everything was packed up and is now in long term storage in Olympia.”

Carlisle took another unnecessary breath and ran his hand through his flaxen hair.  Bella couldn’t help the small smile that crept across her lips at the gesture that was something Edward would have done.  She was surprised how each day was easier for her to smile when she thought of him.  Her attention was back on Carlisle as the look in his eyes held the utmost concern for how she would receive this next piece of information.

“Charlie had you declared dead based on the evidence and had a funeral for you five days later.  Alice was only able to see parts of it due to the Quileute’s in attendance.  Your mother and step-father flew in.  All your classmates came as well.  Alice said what she saw of it was a very nice service.”

He watched the stray tear that trickled down her cheek.  He wiped it away with the pad of his thumb before pulling her into a strong embrace.  She cried into his sweater clad chest.  He hated that this caused her pain, but he knew it was necessary for her to heal and move forward.  She had to put her past behind her before she would be able to make a conscious decision about her future.  Her tears dried up a while later.  He could tell she was getting cold.  Her body temperature had dropped two degrees.

“Bella, we should get you back inside.  It is quite bitter out and I don’t want you to fall ill.  Can you walk or do you need me to carry you?”

His need to care for her was laced in every word he spoke to her.  She sat upright and wiped her cheeks of the remaining tears.

“I’m okay.  I can walk.” Her voice was hoarse from crying.

Carlisle stood pulling Bella up with him.  He linked her arm in his and patted her hand.  It was a gesture that was never seen in this day and age, but Bella relished the way it made her feel each time he did it.  She felt cherished and cared for.  She knew that Carlisle had given up a lot to care for her while she was locked inside herself.  She wanted to find a way to thank him, but she wasn’t sure how.  She would think on it some more.

Once they got back to the house, Carlisle made quick work of getting a roaring fire started in the living room.  He stood up and brushed his hands off against the legs of his pants.

“Would you like some tea or cocoa?” he offered her.

“I was thinking about making some cocoa, but I can do it.”

“Nonsense.  Please sit and get warmed up and I will go start the kettle.” Carlisle implored.

Bella acquiesced and grabbed a blanket to wrap around her from the back of the chair.  She sat on the loveseat closest to the fireplace as Carlisle headed into the kitchen.  He was back a few minutes later with a steaming mug of cocoa in hand.  Bella graciously accepted it and breathed in the warm air; letting the thick chocolate scent encase her.  Carlisle sat next to her and gave her the quiet she needed to process everything.  Alice and Jasper had made a trip into town to pick up some special delivery packages.  The only sounds around them were the crackling fire and Bella’s melodic heartbeat.

Bella took a few sips before asking what she needed to know, “Do you know if Charlie is okay?  I mean since I left?”

Carlisle gave her a warm reassuring smile which lessened the stress clenching her heart.

“He is actually doing pretty well.  I won’t say the time following your disappearance was easy for him.  But as time went on he seemed to resume a pretty regular schedule except that he was spending a lot of time on the reservation.  Do you know a woman by the name of Sue Clearwater?”

Bella nodded slowly, “She is Harry Clearwater’s widow.”

“Well, it appears that she and Charlie connected over their mutual loss and are now engaged to be married.” Carlisle said with a soft smile.

Bella picked her jaw up off her lap as emotions danced across her face.  She was so filled with relief that Charlie not only would not be alone, but that he actually found love again.  Then she scrunched up her face as another set of questions twisted through her brain.

“Wait.  How do you know all this?”

Carlisle smiled but it looked a bit hesitant since he wasn’t sure how she would feel about their methods, “I had Jasper hire a private detective to give us regular reports on Charlie.  I wanted to make sure he was okay, and I figured that you would want to know about him when you woke up.” He looked down at the couch.

Bella put the mug down and brought her hand to his cheek.  It was warmer than normal due to the cocoa.  He looked up at her eyes as they shown with unshed tears that sparkled in the firelight.

“Thank you,” she whispered, “Thank you for watching out for Charlie for me.”

She swung her arms around his neck and squeezed as tight as her human muscles would allow.  Carlisle was taken aback by her sudden movement but then found himself relishing in the warmth of her over exuberant embrace.  Bella could not express how truly grateful she was.  Her worst fears since waking up were always centered around Charlie’s wellbeing.  The fact that Carlisle took it upon himself to watch over him meant more to her than anything else.

He chuckled warmly, “You are very welcome.”

They were still hugging when the front door crashed open.

“Well hey!  Can anyone get in on some of that or is it exclusively for the blonds in this family?”

Bella sat back and looked towards the booming sound that was distinctly Emmett.  She gasped in surprise as her hands went to cover her mouth.  There stood Emmett and Rosalie in all their immortal glory.  Alice and Jasper were standing to the side smiling at her expression.  Rosalie looked as gorgeous as ever in a tight fitting red turtleneck sweater and designer jeans.  Emmett’s outfit elicited a giggle from Bella that made him smile from ear to ear.  He had missed her laughter so much and had not allowed himself to believe the news that she was better until he saw it with his own golden eyes.  He smiled at her and twirled like a runway model showing off the rainbow colored poncho and matching sombrero with little balls hanging from the brim.

Bella got off the couch and attempted to make her way over to them but was stopped in her tracks as Emmett was in front of her wrapping his arms around her and lifting her off the floor.  She squealed in excitement as he twirled her in circles.

“Bells!  I missed you so much!  How are you doin’ little sis?” he asked as he set her down.

She held his arms to get her balance before answering with a big grin, “I’m good Em.  A little dizzy but good.”

He laughed and hugged her again; a little too tightly this time.

“Hey brother bear, don’t crush the human,” she squeaked out.

He immediately let go, “Oops, sorry Bells.”

Bella took a deep breath to re-inflate her lungs before laughing at him.  Carlisle had tensed when he heard her strangled cry and his anger and protectiveness shot up on Jasper’s emo-radar.  Jasper raised an eyebrow in Carlisle’s direction, but he didn’t notice.  Once he realized that Bella was fine his emotions switched quickly back to the joy and relief of having his whole family under one roof again.  He made his way over to Rosalie and opened his arms to her.  She smiled and gladly walked into his warm embrace.

“Welcome home,” he said as he kissed the top of her hair.

“It’s good to be home,” she sighed in reply.

He released his hold on her as he turned towards Emmett, “Welcome home, son.”

Emmett wrapped his massive arms around his creator and slapped him jovially on the back, “We missed you, Carlisle.”

Bella stood smiling as she watched the reunion.  Alice had explained why Rosalie and Emmett were absent when she woke up.  She never blamed any of them for the series of unfortunate events that befell them, but as she looked at Rosalie, she knew that she needed to clear the air.  Rosalie hung back and seemed unsure of herself.  Bella walked forward and opened her arms to the gorgeous vampire in front of her.

“Rosalie, I am so glad you both are home.  We have missed you so much.”

Rosalie was stunned by the gesture and stood still as Bella stepped forward to hug her.  She looked to the others for some clue, but all she saw was love and happiness as they smiled at her in encouragement.

“Bella, I’m so happy to see you are better.  Emmett and I thought about you every day we were gone.” She said as she gently hugged her human sister.

Rosalie didn’t have Jasper’s gift to pick up on the emotions of others, but she could feel the warmth radiating off of Bella and it made her cold exterior crack.

“I am so sorry, Bella.  I…” her whispered apology was cut off by Bella shaking her head and pulling back to meet her golden eyes.

“There is nothing to apologize for.  I know you feel partly responsible for all that happened, but don’t.” Bella said firmly, “You have no more control over what took place than you do over the rise and fall of the ocean tides.  We all made decisions, good and bad, but we are here now and moving forward.  So, no more apologies.  Unless you are going to apologize for leaving me here as the only female to deal with the shopaholic pixie.”

Everyone laughed except Alice who petulantly stomped her foot and placed her fists on her tiny waist.

“I resent that.” She said trying to withhold the smirk that was busting to get out.

“Yeah, but you don’t deny it.” Bella snarked back at her.

Alice scowled at her for a moment longer then smiled, “True.”

She danced over to join her sisters; grateful to be reunited once more.  The joy in the house flowed through Jasper and he basked in the wonderful emotions that emanated from his family members.  They all went in to sit in the living room.  It did not escape Emmett or Rosalie’s attention that Carlisle and Bella sat together.  He sat on the love seat they had just occupied and she sat next to him with her legs tucked underneath her.  Her hand rested gently on his forearm.  Their interactions were not like that of two lovers, but it was sweetly intimate and comfortable the way they almost needed to be in contact with each other.  Jasper and Alice had told them about how Bella woke up and prior to that how she was only responsive to Carlisle. 

Rosalie, feeling infinitely better after hearing what Bella had said, started the conversation, “Bella, I can’t get over how much better you look.  Are you feeling well?”

Bella smiled, “I am.” She nodded, “I’ve been working out and going for walks on the property with Carlisle and he and Jasper cook way more food than I could ever eat.”

They all chuckled.

“Well, now that I am back, you don’t have to accept their substandard cooking any more,” Emmett said as he kicked his feet out crossing at the ankles while his hands laced together behind his head.

“That’s right.  I believe Jasper referred to you as the kitchen bitch.” Bella smarted back.

Everyone burst out laughing…except Emmett.

“Hey, I’ll have you know, I was getting really good at making omelets and homemade bread.”

Bella tried to get her laughter under control, “My apologies, Barney Crocker.  Maybe you can show me some of your mad cooking skills soon.”

The laughter died away to an awkward silence that fell over them before Emmett sat forward leaning his elbows on his knees.

“So, I hear you see dead people.” He said nonchalantly.

The next sound could only be equated to a crack of lightning as Rosalie’s hand came in contact with the back of his head.

“Shut up, you idiot!” she scolded him.

“Ow!  Gee whiz Rosie!  What was that for?” Emmett whined as he rubbed the back of his marble hard scull.

“I am sure that Bella doesn’t want to revisit that time.” Rosalie said through clenched teeth.

Emmett looked towards Bella; worried that he had upset her when he found her shaking with laughter.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

Bella took a deep breath and wiped the happy tears from her eyes, “Oh Emmett, I have missed having you guys around.  You are better than any sitcom I can find on TV.”

Emmett joined the others as they all began laughing as well.  Emmett didn’t mind being the butt of a joke, but he filed that away for a day when payback would be required.  Bella’s laughter quieted down till it stopped altogether though her mirth was still just below the surface.

“I don’t mind talking about my ‘dark time’ as Carlisle likes to refer to it.  I consider it my mental hibernation,” she joked as she leaned into Carlisle in a kidding fashion.

He smiled at her and it was that smile that told Rosalie and Emmett that Alice wasn’t exaggerating.  He was falling in love with Bella.

Bella continued on, “But you are probably going to think I am a little crazy; just so you know.”

Emmett leaned forward conspiratorially as if he was about to divulge a secret.  He looked back and forth then leaned in just a bit more.

“I won’t think you are crazy, Bella.  I believe in vampires and werewolves and I’m not crazy.”

Bella laughed as he ducked just in time to miss Rosalie’s hand swinging for his head again.

Bella got comfortable shifting herself a little closer to Carlisle’s side before beginning her story.  She repeated what she had told the other family members a week prior.  She told them about her time in the meadow and how she had no comprehension of what was happening around her in the ‘real world’.

“As more time passes, I get memories of walking with Carlisle or sitting as Alice talks.  I even remember a few meals that they told me Jasper made for me.  The memories are fuzzy, almost like they came from a dream.”

“So, Edward was with you the whole time?  How were you able to leave him?” Rosalie asked softly.  If she was somewhere like that with Emmett, she would never leave him.

Bella smiled and explained about seeing Esme along with her son and Edward’s parents.  If Rosalie was able to cry, the tears would have been streaming down her face.  She was so relieved that Esme and Edward were not along and it appeared that they were okay.

Then Bella gasped when a realization hit her.  Carlisle shifted quickly so he was in her line of sight; concerned that she was in pain or she was reliving a bad memory.

“Bella, what is it?  Are you okay?”

She pulled her hands away from her mouth and reached for Carlisle’s hands as she smiled at him.

“I just remembered something Edward had said to me right before he left me in the meadow.”

Her smile grew bigger as she squeezed his hands, “He said, ‘Tell Carlisle he was right.  We do keep our souls.’.”

If the others had not believed her story before, with this statement, they did.  Carlisle couldn’t stop the beautiful smile that reached across his face.

“Thank you Bella.  Thank you for sharing that with us.”

Bella’s smile grew as she saw the joy on Carlisle’s face.  She loved to make him smile.