AVitD- Chapter 7

Chapter 7~ Songs of the Heart

Bella woke up to the sensation of her head moving up and down on Edward’s chest as it rose and fell in conjunction with his breathing.

“Good morning, love.  Did you sleep well?”

She sat up and thought about his question.  She had the strangest dreams last night.  She tried to recall them but was only able to pull up bits and pieces.  She remembered Alice brushing her hair and talking non-stop about the newest fashions.  She remembered eating pasta in alfredo sauce.  She swore she could recall the sound of someone singing, but she couldn’t tell what song it was or whose voice she heard.  It was all jumbled and none of it made a whole lot of sense.  She shook her head and then looked at the pensive expression that was on Edward’s face.

“What is it?” she asked as she ran her hand down his face.

He captured her hand and held it against his cheek.  She felt the chill of his marble like skin for the first time since they had been in the meadow.  She shivered as goose bumps crept up her arm.

“You are beginning to heal, Bella.” He explained softly.

Bella cocked her head in confusion.  Heal?  She didn’t understand what he meant.  She didn’t feel hurt or sick.  She felt perfect here with him.

He interrupted her internal questioning, “Bella, what was the last thing you remember before waking up in the meadow with me for the first time?” he asked as he pulled her hands into his and rubbed small circles on them.

Bella scrunched up her forehead in concentration making the little ‘v’ appear between her eye brows.  Edward couldn’t help but smile at this trait that was so very Bella.  He knew the sun was setting on his time with her.  He was going to miss her so much, but he also knew that Carlisle was waiting for her to wake up.  He knew she would be loved and protected.  Even from this heavenly indeterminate state, he could still hear Carlisle, and he knew that he would give Bella what ever she wanted or needed. 

Edward understood that he could not take Bella with him so he needed to help her take these next steps back to her life.  No matter how painful it would be for the both of them.  He looked at her and nodded in encouragement for her to try and remember.

Bella worked backwards through her memories until she felt her mind open a door that had been hidden to her for a long time.

She gasped as she recalled screaming at Carlisle for saving her.  Then she looked at her arms as she remembered cutting herself with the broken CD.  As she turned her arms over the faint scars began to show against her skin.  She felt the pain she remembered when she learned of Edward’s death.  It was excruciating as it came back at her like a tidal wave.  It tortured Edward to watch her endure this, but he needed to let her feel it.  She had been numb to the pain for so long and it was now time for her to face it. 

She fell back as the hurting was too much and she began to scream.  It was a scream of anguish that wrecked her entire body.  Her eyes clamped shut to try and block out some of the intensity, but it was useless.  The pain seemed to go on forever.  She remembered this agony.  This is what she suffered through each day and night after Edward had left her.  It was a terrible feeling, and just as she thought she could take no more, she felt something.  A pair of strong arms wrapped around her and held her tightly.  The voice she heard before began singing again.  She could breathe once more as she felt her body relax.  Little by little her body let go of the tension until she was lulled into a peaceful sleep.

~*~

Carlisle was cleaning around the bedroom while Bella was taking a midday nap.  He could hear Alice dancing around the other rooms replacing flowers and tidying up.  He could make out the sound of Jasper flipping the pages of a book.  He was most likely hiding out in their room reading in order to avoid her wrath for yet again getting in her way.  Yes, he was a seasoned warrior and veteran of the southern wars, but even he didn’t like to get Alice angry with him.  Carlisle chuckled to himself as he thought about the irony of the situation.

He was sorting through some medical journals when a song popped into his head.  He hadn’t heard it in a while, but it wouldn’t let go for some reason.  Alice and Rosalie would have called it an ‘ear worm’.  His mind went to his peripatetic son and daughter.  He was grateful that he had just spoken to them earlier today.  They had left the island and decided to take a little excursion in the jungles of Rio and do some big game hunting.  He laughed as he heard Emmett tease Jasper about getting to wrestle anacondas.  Carlisle missed them terribly and hoped that they would come home soon.

The same song kept cycling through his mind as he flipped through some mail Alice had collected from their post office box.  He began singing quietly to himself as he finished up when he thought he heard Bella’s heart rate pick up for a moment.  He stopped singing to listen closer, but then it was back to normal.  Slow steady beats of a human at rest.  Just then Jasper was standing in the doorway.  Carlisle’s head snapped up to see the perplexed look on his face.  Jasper stepped into the room and over to Bella’s side.  He stared at her and then back up to Carlisle.

“What did you do?” he asked hurriedly.

Carlisle gave Jasper a confused look, “What do you mean, Jasper?”

“I felt her!  I felt emotion coming from Bella.  It was only for a moment, but I know I felt it.”

“What did you read off of her?” Carlisle queried hopefully as he stepped closer to the bed.

“Contentment.  It wasn’t outright happiness, but it was definitely a positive emotion.  I don’t get it though,” Jasper looked down at the sleeping Bella once more; as if the answer would be written on her face, “As fast as it began it ended and she is in that same emotional void again.”

Both men looked down at Bella as she continued to sleep undisturbed.  Neither being able to pinpoint what the trigger was for her emotional blip.  Alice came bounding into the room.

“Singing!” she said excitedly, “Carlisle, I heard you singing.”

Jasper’s head shot between Alice and Carlisle before he spoke, “Sing again.”

Carlisle thought they were both a little crazy, but he figured they had nothing to lose.  He began to sing the same song he had earlier.

‘When the rain is blowing in your face,

And the whole world is on your case,

I could offer you a warm embrace,

To make you feel my love.’

All of the sudden all three of them heard Bella’s heart beat stronger than it had in more than nine months. 

Jasper smiled at Carlisle and whispered, “Contentment.”

Carlisle continued to sing to Bella as her heart kept up with the new, stronger rhythm.  It was like watching a miracle happen.  The three vampires stood around her and waited to see if she would wake up.  When the song ended, her pulse returned to a resting rate but her eyes opened.

Alice reached for her hand and called out her name.

“Bella?  Bella?  Can you hear me?”

Bella stared out in front of her; never acknowledging Alice’s pleas.  Alice looked to Carlisle and Jasper.  They both took turns calling her name, but there was no response.

“Sing again, Carlisle.” Alice insisted.

He thought for a second and began singing one of his favorite Beatles’ songs.

‘Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free.’

His singing had the same response as before, but Bella still did not make any eye contact or show any sign of recognizing that they were there.  Jasper nodded in encouragement for Carlisle to continue.  He was happily absorbing the first emotions he had felt from her in nearly a year.  He was pushing them out to Alice and Carlisle to show them what Bella was feeling. Alice smiled at him and then helped Bella to stand.  Carlisle walked behind as he continued to sing.  He stopped at the door to the washroom.  He felt a little awkward singing to a closed door, but Bella’s heart beat sang back to him and told him all he needed to know at that moment.  She heard him.

Carlisle went through several Beatles’ songs before switching to Billy Joel and Johnny Cash.  One might think that Carlisle liked classical music; and he did, but he had a true love for the music of the nineteen sixty’s through the late seventy’s.  He loved the origins of rock.

He sang to her throughout the rest of the day.  It was only when she had settled into bed and fallen asleep that her heart beat took a naturally slower pace and he stopped.

Jasper was by his side as he watched her sleep.

“Well, that was an interesting development,” Jasper mused, “How long do you think you can keep that up for?’

“As long as it takes.” He said in the most serious tone of voice.  Without turning his attention away from Bella he asked, “How are her emotions now?”

Jasper smiled softly in relief, “The contentment was steadily flowing from here the entire time you were singing.  Once she fell asleep, it switched to peace.  It is nice to feel something from her again.  I can’t verbalize how agonizing it was to feel nothing for so long”

Carlisle nodded in agreement.  He was silently saying prayers of thanks to God for giving him this day with Bella as he did at the end of everyday.  He added in his additional thanks for bringing Bella a little bit closer to them.

“Carlisle, why don’t you go hunt.  Alice and I just went last night.  I will stay by her side and monitor her emotions while she sleeps.” Jasper offered.

Carlisle stood and rested his hand on Jasper’s shoulder, “Thank you, Jasper.  I won’t be gone long.”

With that, Carlisle was out the door and out the back in a dash for the woods.  He took a strong pull of air and enjoyed the smells that accentuated the autumn night.  It was early October and the season was in full swing.  Even amongst the dying plants, there was something crisp and refreshing about the cool air of the night.  He was only running for about an hour when he picked up the smell of a small heard of antelope that had bedded down for the night.  He snuck up on them and was able to get a hold on two of them before the rest of the heard scattered in the darkness.  He quickly drained them both and disposed of the remains. 

He sat for a moment as the moonlight came out from its hiding spot behind the clouds.  It had been a good day.  He really hoped that this was a turning point in Bella’s recovery.  He wondered why after all this time of him talking to Bella that it took him singing to reach her.  It didn’t seem logical.  He pondered on this as he made his way back to the house.

Jasper sat like a sentinel on guard over Bella’s sleeping form.  Carlisle had only been gone about forty-five minutes when Bella did something she hadn’t done in all her time with them.  She appeared to be having a nightmare.  Her feeling of peace diminished quickly to be replaced by pain, loss and fear.  Jasper tried to push more positive emotions her way, but it was useless.  She began to thrash and whimper in her sleep.

“What’s wrong with her?” Alice whispered as she ran into the room.

“I think it is a nightmare. Her emotions are all over the place and I can’t seem to help her at all.” Jasper answered.

“Try singing to her like Carlisle did.  Maybe that will help.” She suggested.

Jasper nodded and began singing a country song that was a favorite of his, but Bella did not have the same reaction as she did to Carlisle.

She continued to whimper.  Jasper looked to Alice but before she began to sing, Bella screamed out in pain.  She clutched at her chest as if she was trying to pull the pain away from herself.  Jasper continued to try and push calm and lethargy to her as Alice cooed to her trying to calm her down.

“Bella, shhhh.  You are fine.  You are safe.  I promise.  Honey, no one is going to hurt you.  Please Bella, please calm down.”

They tried everything they could think of, but nothing seemed to make a difference.  Then they heard the sound of the back door being torn off the hinges.  Carlisle was in the room a split second later.

“What happened?!?” he demanded as he went to her side. 

“We don’t know!  It started off as a nightmare, but now it seems like she is in agonizing pain and nothing we do seems to help!” Alice prattled off quickly.

“We tried singing and I tried to manipulate her emotions, but nothing worked.” Jasper added as Alice wrapped herself around him.

She was in desperate need of his comfort; which he gladly gave.  Jasper enveloped her in his arms and sent her his undying love.

Carlisle tried to sing to Bella again, but it had no impact.

“Her emotions are still a cyclone of pain, loss and fear.” Jasper explained.

Bella was thrashing about and trying to claw at her chest.  Carlisle was worried she would hurt herself or possibly draw blood.  He climbed into the bed behind her and wrapped his arms securely around her.  She whimpered for a moment and then stopped.  She froze as if her muscles seized up.

“I’m here Bella.  It’s alright now.  Just relax sweetheart.” He whispered softly.

Then he began to sing again and this time it worked.  With each word she seemed to relax in his arms until Jasper said the one word that Carlisle was waiting to hear.

“Peace.”

They all breathed a sigh of relief.  Jasper realized then that Bella needed Carlisle.  It wasn’t just the singing; it was his presence that soothed her.  Carlisle began to stroke her hair softly as he continued to sing.  Jasper and Alice backed out of the room and made their way to the living room. 

It felt so natural to Carlisle to hold Bella in his arms.  She was small and so fragile, and he wanted nothing more than to protect her.  He would hold her forever if it would bring her some form of comfort.  Her heart thumped a strong rhythm that pumped against his chest as he held her against him.  His hand splayed open across her taut stomach and he counted each breath she took.  He smiled to himself as it inspired the next song to pop into his head.  His voice was barely a whisper as he crooned in her ear.

‘Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I'll be watching you’

He sang a few more songs by the Police before he looked to Jasper who had come back into the room on regular intervals to give him a status on her emotional state.  Carlisle let the last few words flow softly from his mouth before stopping all together.  He watched Jasper as he tasted the emotions in the room.  He felt the protectiveness and hope that Carlisle was projecting and he felt the security and peace coming off of Bella.

“She feels safe and at peace right now.” He whispered.

“Thank you, Jasper.” He said in response.

Jasper nodded and quietly left the room.  He felt his natural pull towards Alice that led him to the front porch swing.  She sat with one knee tucked under her chin while the other leg pushed gently to keep the swing in motion.  Jasper sat with her without jostling the chains.

“Penny for your thoughts, darlin’?” he asked as he wrapped his arm around her.

Alice adjusted her position, pulling both feet up and snuggling into his side.  She breathed in his cinnamon and moonlight scent that was so very much Jasper.  She kissed one of the scars on his neck before resting her head on his shoulder.  She always kissed one each time they were close like this.  She knew she could never erase the horrid memories that created those scars, but her goal was to replace them with better memories that would bury the others away.

She sighed softly, “Is she really getting better, Jasper?”

“I don’t know darlin’, but I do know that she is not hurting right now.  With Carlisle near her she seems contented.  Here,’ he said as he filtered Bella’s emotions through himself to Alice.

Alice closed her eyes as she allowed the feeling to fill her up.  She knew this combination well.  It was the same one she had each time she was with Jasper after a prolonged separation.  She smiled up at her mate.

“Thank you, Jazzy.  Thank you for sharing that with me.  I really hope this is just the beginning.”

“Me too darlin’.  Me too.”

They rocked under the starry sky for a while longer.  The sound of a screech owl came to them from a half mile away.  It was peaceful here.  They were miles away from the nearest town and their home was the only one on the road.  There was little chance of a human wondering upon them.  Alice took a deep breath of night air before letting it out slowly.  Jasper looked down on her beautiful face as the moon light made her appear to glow.

“He has feelings for her, doesn’t he?” her voice as soft as the night breeze.

Jasper nodded, “He does.  But I do not believe he is aware of them yet.”

“I hope he can wait for her.” Alice spoke as she thought about what it would take for Bella to open her heart again once she fully woke up.

“Ali, I believe he would wait forever if need be.” He whispered softly as he ran his lips across her forehead. “I know that is how long I would wait for you.”

A/N  I don't write songs.  All lyrics belong to the original artists.  This will be true for any song lyrics referenced throughout the rest of this story.