AVitD-Chapter 15

Chapter 15~ Loving a Vampire 101

Alice was hopping up and down in excitement.  Bella and Rosalie both looked at her as if she had completely lost it.  Bella turned to her blond sister.

“Do they make Ritalin for vampires?”

“If only,” Rosalie quipped back.

“Oh shut up you two!” Alice huffed, but then quickly flipped back to her happy, jovial self, “Come on Bella, I want to hear all about last night.”

“Oh!  Me too!” Rosalie added as the two of them pulled Bella down to Alice’s room.

Alice opened the door and jumped on the bed; bouncing in anticipation.  Bella sat down kitty corner from Alice.  It was ironic for as close as they were, their styles could not have been more opposite. Alice always looked the epitome of runway fashion where Bella’s style could best be described as comfy casual.  Alice’s outfit put Bella’s yoga pants, wife beater and hoodie to shame, but she could care less.  She felt relaxed which was the whole point.  Rosalie sat by Bella’s feet and smiled sweetly.

“New color?” she asked.

Bella sighed and rolled her eyes, “Alright, but nothing too bright.”

“Oh!  I know just the right color.” Alice chirped and then leapt off the bed to grab a bottle of nail polish from her supplies, “Here Rose.”

She handed the bottle of ‘espresso’ nail polish to her.  Bella slipped her ankle socks off and Rosalie gathered her feet and sat them on her lap.

“Okay Bella, spill.  I need details cause the crystal ball here was all cryptic and only said it was a good day.  And Ali, quit bouncing.  You are making it impossible to paint her nails.”

“Sorry Rose.  Bella, start with the skiing.  Did you like your new jacket?”

Bella pointed a finger at the pixie, “I figured you had something to do with that.” She smiled to let her know she wasn’t really upset, “I loved it, thanks Ali.” She took a deep breath before starting her story, “Well Carlisle took us to some desolate hill and taught me to ski.  I did really good until I got cocky and tried going a little faster and ended up sprawled at the bottom of the hill.”

“What did Carlisle do?  Did he try to wrap you in a full body cast?” Rosalie asked between toes, “He is so overprotective.”

Bella nodded in agreement, “He is, but it is sweet.” She bit her lip as her mind wandered to her blond Adonis outside. 

Rosalie’s voice pulled her back to the present, “Oh God.  He didn’t growl at the skis did he?”

All three of them cracked up at that one.  Then Bella stopped when she thought back on Carlisle’s eyes changing color.

“Hey, can I ask you two something?”

“Sure.”

“Shoot.”

Bella thought over how she wanted to ask this.  She cleared her throat, “So, last night we were dancing and kissing, before you guys came home, and something happened and Carlisle’s eyes turned black.  I don’t mean a dark gold like when he hasn’t hunted.  I mean black-black.  It kinda freaked me out a little.”

Rosalie, having finished with the nail polish, set it on the table by the bed before turning a sympathetic smile towards Bella.

“It doesn’t happen often, but it can happen where one of us lets our baser nature emerge.  What you saw was truly Carlisle’s worst fear.  You saw his inner vampire.”

“It is the thing we fight the hardest living the way we do.” Alice added. “Do you remember Jasper’s eyes when he lunged at you during your party?”

Bella thought back to that fateful night and replayed the scene in her head until she gasped bringing both hands to her mouth; nodding her head.

“His eyes were black like Carlisle’s.” she whispered.

Rosalie and Alice nodded in sync.

“That’s why Carlisle said I could not stay with all of you permanently if I chose to remain human.”

It wasn’t a question as much as it was a statement of fact, but Alice and Rosalie nodded their acknowledgement.  Silence fell over them as Bella absorbed this new information.  Alice was uncharacteristically still.  After about three minutes Bella found her voice.

“Does this mean we can’t kiss anymore?” her voice was small and unsure.

The two vampires looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“What?” Bella asked perplexed.

“He could have had a Bella-tini last night and you are more worried about not being able to kiss him?!?  Edward was right; you really have no sense of self-preservation.” Alice said before she rejoined Rosalie in her laughter.

Bella sat befuddled as she watched the two of them fall over themselves laughing at her.

“So, does that mean that I can kiss him?” she asked.

This brought on a whole new bout of laughter.  Rosalie was the first to get control when she saw the confused and slightly hurt look on her face.

“Oh sweetie, you can absolutely keep kissing Carlisle.  In fact, you can do so much more.” She said as she waggled her eyebrows.  She has spent entirely too many years with Emmett.

Alice and Rosalie exchanged a knowing look and began the educating of Bella on the subject of Loving a Vampire 101.

~AVitD~

Emmett and Carlisle were working at stripping the fallen trees and cutting them into planks.  Carlisle shook his head at the number of trees that were down.

“Emmett, I don’t understand son.  What were you thinking?”

Emmett stopped working; saw dust and needles were in his hair and clothing.  He looked around remembering his emotions from that day.  He sighed heavily.

“I just didn’t want her to leave.  I mean…I have always thought of her as family, even back when it was her and Edward.” He stopped short and looked at Carlisle, “Sorry…I mean…you know…”

Carlisle put his hand up to stop him, “I know what you mean, son.  I understand.  Just go on.”

Emmett took a deep breath then began again, “I was just so angry that everything seemed to be going wrong.  We worked so hard to bring her back, and then for her to leave was just too much to deal with.”  His face went from thoughtful concentration to youthful optimism, “But now she is back and you guys are together so all is well.”

Emmett quickly went back to work.  Carlisle made his way over to him and rested his hand on Emmett’s arm stopping the sawing motion he had resumed.

“Emmett, I don’t want you to get your hopes too high yet.  Bella may be here with us now, but there are no guarantees for the future.  She has not said that she wants to be one of us.  She still has the option to remain human if she so chooses.  In which case you may very well have to deal with those same emotions again; in the near or distant future.”

It hurt Carlisle to no end to have to voice the possibility of that reality.  He didn’t believe that he could survive losing Bella.  She was his mate.  He knew it with every fiber of his being.

“Do you think she would still choose that?” Emmett asked crestfallen.

Carlisle placed a reassuring hand on his immense shoulder and squeezed.  “It is my most heartfelt prayer that she will decide to stay with us forever as a vampire, but it is ultimately her choice to make.”

Emmett stood still for the longest moment.  Carlisle mirrored his inaction until a bright smile stretched across the larger vampire’s face.

“Well then, we will just need to convince her that she belongs with us as one of us.”

He quickly returned to the task at hand.  Carlisle wanted to tell him to let Bella make the decision on her own, but deep down inside he hoped that Emmett would succeed.  He returned to his own work and they continued in silence until Jasper parked the Mercedes and came out to join them.

“Did you guys do something wrong that the girls kicked you out of the house?” he joked.

Carlisle stopped his work to see his southern born son in front of him.

“Jasper,” he said with a smile. “Did Eleazar and the girls get off okay?”

“They were right on time for their flight.”

“Thank you for taking them.”

Emmett piped up, “Hey what was going on with Kate?  Was she seriously trying to get her freak on with you, Carlisle?”

Carlisle cringed at the memories of Kate’s blatent attempts to get his attention.

“Yes, Emmett, she was, as you so eloquently put it, trying to get her ‘freak on’ with me.”

Emmett laughed and fist bumped the air, “Pay up pretty boy.”

Jasper reached in his back pocket and took a fifty from his wallet; handing over to the lumber jack in front of him.

Carlisle looked between his two sons, “What is that all about?”

Jasper ran his hand through his hair, something that was apparently a common trait amongst the Cullen men, “Emmett bet me fifty bucks that he could get you to say ‘freak on’.  I bet against him and just lost.”

Carlisle just shook his head before grabbing another tree to start on.

“So,” Jasper clapped his hands and rubbed them back and forth, “what are you two up to here?”

“Emmett decided that the woods needed a little thinning so he took it upon himself to clear out some of nature’s finest gifts.”

Emmett hung his head; knowing that taking his emotions out on the forest was not his proudest moment.

Carlisle continued on, “But he has come up with an idea on how to not let it all go to waste.”

Carlisle and Emmett explained the plans to Jasper and he quickly volunteered to do the intricate scroll work on several of the thinner trunks and thicker branches.  The men worked well into the afternoon and even though the sun had set, it did not deter them from finishing.  The fact that it snowed around them did not slow their progress one bit.  What would have taken several human men weeks to create from scratch and finish, took them half of a day.  They stood back admiring their handy work.

“It is very impressive sons; very impressive in deed.” Carlisle complimented them as he clapped them both on the back.  “Now, let’s get back to our women.”

He smiled at the thought that Bella was his.  And even if he might only have her for the next sixty years, he would cherish every minute.  Because a day with Bella was worth ten eternities without her.

The three of them hauled the tools back to the loft over the garage and headed inside to their respective rooms to shower and clean up.  Carlisle knew exactly where Bella was when he stepped in the house.  Her beautiful heartbeat rang down from the family room.

He made his way to his and Bella’s room and stripped out of his dirty clothes after grabbing a clean set and went straight to the shower.  The water temperature made no difference to a vampire, but Carlisle enjoyed the way the scalding hot water warmed his skin; even if it was only momentarily.  Once his hair and body were free of the day’s residue, he shut off the shower and dried off quickly.  Being impermeable had its advantages as the majority of the water rolled right off of his chiseled body.  He towel dried his hair and ran his hand through it a few times allowing it to fall where it may.  He had noticed that Bella seemed more apt to touch it when it wasn’t combed back in place like he used to wear it.  It also gave him a more youthful appearance this way.

He took the stairs three at a time unable to keep himself away from Bella a moment longer than necessary.  He cleared the final step and found the girls right where he had expected.  Alice and Rosalie sat on the sectional across from the flat screen and Bella sat on the floor at Alice’s feet.  Alice was weaving an intricate braid out of a section of Bella’s hair so that it appeared to be a wreath upon the top of her head when it was complete.  The rest of her hair hung loose and flowed in chestnut waves down her back.  She looked like a woodland nymph.

He greeted them with a cheerful, “Ladies,” before lying down in front of the couch with his head resting on Bella’s lap and his eyes trained on her, “Hello beautiful.”

Bella blushed and smiled down at the man who held her heart.  He was perfection and all hers.

“Hello handsome.  Where have you been hiding all day?” she asked as her hand automatically raked through his silken hair.

His eyes closed as he took in the gentleness of her touch.  He then remembered she had asked him a question.  Opening his eyes to look up at her, he responded.

“Just doing a little wood working with the boys.” He said nonchalantly.

“Can I see?” she questioned him excitedly.  Her hand stopped moving much to Carlisle’s disappointment.

“Tomorrow sweetheart.  It is dark out.  You won’t be able to get the full effect until daylight.”

Bella’s lip jutted out in a pout but then tucked back in.  “Oh alright.  I guess I can wait a few more hours.”

Her hand restarted its former pattern; starting from his hairline going across the top of his head and then drifting off at the back curve just to restart at his forehead once more.  The feeling lulled him to a state of quiet comfort and he let his eyes drift shut.  She studied his body; took in all that was Carlisle.

His hair was like the finest silk.  It felt smooth and cool against the palm of her hand.  Her eyes scanned down to his face; perfect with strong angles that still held a sense of softness.  It was as if God had taken all that was beautiful in this world and used it to construct his face.  His neck was long and pale and his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed.  She had visions of running her tongue over that protrusion.

He was wearing a basic navy colored golf shirt with the collar open allowing her to see the small patch of soft golden hair.  His arms were muscular but not too much so.  He looked strong and virile.  She loved being wrapped in those arms.  She had never seen him without a shirt on, but she could only imagine that he was well defined there as well.  His legs were strong and the jeans that he wore hung on him just the right way.  Even his feet were perfect.  He wasn’t wearing any socks so she was able to gawk at them a tad bit longer. 

The entire time she stroked him with her eyes she kept combing through his hair with her fingers allowing her nails to scrape against his scalp.   She bit her lip and let her other hand trail to the patch of hair she had just discovered.  Carlisle was in his own personal heaven as she played with the soft hair upon his chest.  Soon he began to purr eliciting a giggle from Bella.

He opened his eyes and quirked an eyebrow as if to ask ‘what?’

“I just love that sound.”

“As I just love you,” he replied back.

Carlisle looked around to see that the girls had left the room; giving them an illusion of privacy.  Bella knew Alice and Rosalie had left a minute earlier.  They wanted to give her a chance to try and work her new skills with Carlisle.

He was in an awkward angle because he was too close for her to lean down to kiss him so she had to improvise.  She crooked her finger to him.

“Come close.  I want to tell you a secret.” She whispered to him.

Carlisle’s curiosity was piqued.  He leaned up on his elbows to bring himself closer.  Bella leaned in so her lips were less than an inch from the shell of his ear.  She breathed out softly letting the warm moist air tickle his ear.

“I missed you today.” She said softly as her tongue poked out and licked the outer edge of his ear lobe.

Carlisle shivered at the raw sexuality in her voice.  His cock sprung to life pressing against the denim which held it enclosed.  He turned over quickly to hide his not so secret desires.  He was on all fours in front of her.  He searched her eyes for any sign of hesitation, but there was none to be found.  He leaned in and placed a whisper of a kiss against her soft lips.  His cool breath coated her wet lips and sent a rush of lust directly to her girlie parts.  Carlisle smelled her arousal grow stronger and it gave him the deepest amount of satisfaction to know it was him doing this to her.

He crawled closer to her body so that he was on his knees in front of her crossed legs while his hands pressed into the couch on the outside of her shoulders.  Bella reached forward and let her hands drift across the expanse of his firm chest.  She was right.  He was exceptionally well defined as she could feel the defined edges of the muscles under his shirt.  His lips played on hers.  Kissing and pecking at the corner of her mouth before returning for full contact.  He licked the seam between her upper and lower lips requesting access.  A request which she eagerly granted.  His tongue gently stroked and caressed hers inside her mouth.  Her breath felt hot compared to his and he relished the feeling of it on his mouth.

Bella remembered what the girls had told her earlier and she reached under his shirt letting her hands tenderly touch the skin of his back.  The sensation was too little and too much all at once.  He reached one hand around her back and swept his fingers back and forth over her lower back where her shirt had raised up to expose her skin.  She moaned and uncrossed her legs to pull him closer.  He complied and moved forward so that he straddled her right leg.

His upper leg was a breath away from her sex.  Bella needed the contact and forgot herself as she rubbed up against his sculpted thigh.  The heat coming off her body was incredible and mixed with the scent of her juices was sending Carlisle into a tailspin.  He felt the monster in him attempt to break free of the carefully constructed prison he was kept in.  Carlisle wanted to bury his face in the crook of her neck and breathe in the undiluted smell that was pure Bella; strawberries and freesia with a hint of fire.  But he didn’t trust himself enough to do so.  He was panting as the monster rattled its cage.  He kept his eyes shut; worried that they were once again the sinister color that had frightened Bella.  He stopped kissing her and rested his head against hers.

She felt the tension in his body when he stopped breathing, and she knew that he was struggling.  She cursed herself for pushing him too far before he had gone hunting.  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath; tasting him on her tongue.  She had to battle to keep herself from pushing him further.  The outcome could be bad for both of them.  She thought about what Alice had told her so she kept her body still and relaxed.  Her hands rested against his rib cage; letting him know that she was not afraid.

Carlisle refused to open his eyes.  His mind swirled with thoughts of her body and her blood; him penetrating her body as he stole her liquid gold directly from the source.  No!  He berated himself mentally.  This is My Bella.  Mine.  Fragile.  Delicate.  Porcelain.  Breakable.  Mortal.  Beautiful.  Intelligent.  Magnificent.  Mine.  His mind went through these words over and over till he heard his goddess speak.

“Carlisle, I love you.  I am right here and I love you.”

His breathing began again slowly as her words coiled around his cold, dead heart.  She loves me.

“I want you to go hunt and then come home to me.  I will be here waiting.  I will always wait for you.”

He nodded his head but still refused to open his eyes.

“I love you My Bella.  My heart.  My love.” He said before placing a single kiss on her forehead.  Then he was gone.

Bella heard the door open downstairs half a second later and knew that he was doing what she asked.  She took a deep breath and went to stand up.  Her knees were weak and her body felt like lead.  She flopped on the couch as Alice and Rosalie reappeared from wherever they had been.

“Hey sweetie, you okay?” Rosalie asked as she pushed Bella’s hair back over her shoulder.

Bella nodded, “Yeah.  I just…I wish…shit!  I don’t know.”

She leaned forward throwing her face into her hands.  Alice looked to Rosalie and then back down to Bella.  Maybe today’s lesson wasn’t such a good idea after all.

Carlisle ran out of the house in search of the first warm creature with a beating heart that he could find.  He felt Jasper and Emmett on his flanks but at a safe distance.  He was grateful for their hands off accompaniment.  He wasn’t in his right mind now and didn’t want to hurt them by accident.

Pulling away from Bella to hunt took what was left of his resolve.  He headed deeper and deeper into the woods until he came upon the familiar cliff and he jumped.  It was exhilarating to free fall for the few seconds it took him to reach the ground below.  He was surprised the guys followed him off the cliff but they were still there behind him.

That was when he heard it; the steady thumping of a strong heart.  It was in the trees just ahead of him.  He wasted no time settling himself.  He lunged into a nearby tree then threw himself at the startled mountain lion causing them both to plummet to the ground tangled in each other’s clutches.

The wild cat scratched and hissed as it tried to fight off the obviously superior predator.  Carlisle relished in the strength this animal exerted to defend its life, but in the end, its efforts were futile.  As the cat tried to bite through the skin of his arm, Carlisle took his own bite into its exposed jugular.  The great cat let out a strangled cry that quickly fell away as Carlisle drank from him.  He held the dying animal in his arms till its heart stopped and it was rendered dry.

Jasper and Emmett stood back and watched the scene before them with stunned silence.  Carlisle never fed like this before.  He was always measured and precise.  To their knowledge, he had never even ruined a shirt while feeding.  Yet there he sat in the muddied show; his shirt and pants shredded beyond repair.

When Carlisle finished he looked down at himself and dropped the carcass as he backed away.

“What is wrong with me?  I have lived this life for over three hundred and fifty years and nothing or no one has ever impacted me this way.” He asked himself.

Jasper approached him slowly and sat down next to him on the forest floor.

“Carlisle, you are being entirely too hard on yourself.  I have felt your emotions when you two are together.  Your love is immense.  Your hunger is peaked by your desire for her.”

“I know this!” he snapped back, very un-Carlisle-like, “I have been around humans and blood for the better part of my three hundred years.  Why now is it such an issue?”

He grabbed his hair with both hands and pulled hard in frustration.

“Because you have never loved a human the way you love Bella.” Jasper explained, “The combination of such intense emotions combined with our natural thirst is testing you in a way that you are not used to.”

Carlisle looked up at his sensitive son.  “So what are you saying?  That I am going to freak out every time we are in any way intimate?”

Emmett had come around the other said sitting next to Carlisle as well.  He was uncharacteristically quiet.

Jasper shook his head, “No.  You just need to feed more often to keep your thirst at bay.  It is the combination of desires that is causing this.  You control one and the other will not be so overwhelming.”

Carlisle sat and thought about what Jasper had said for a while.  “But what if I don’t control it next time?  What if I hurt her next time?”

“You won’t.  Because above all those other emotions and even more than your love for her is your urge to protect her.  I believe that you would sacrifice anything to keep her safe.”

Jasper’s words were like salve on his weary soul.  He looked over and saw the concern on Emmett’s face.  He reached over and patted his shoulder in reassurance.  Emmett smiled in return.

“What do you say boys?  One more quick hunt before we head back?” Carlisle asked as he allowed himself to be hopeful that Jasper was right.

Jasper and Emmett nodded as Emmett jumped to his feet. “I could go for a quick bite to eat.”

Jasper and Carlisle groaned at the joke that they had heard at least a thousand times over the last eighty-some years.

Carlisle took the time to bury the lion and say his prayer of thanks.  He added an extra prayer of attrition for allowing the lion to suffer before his death.  With that the three men were off in search of their next prey.

~AVitD~

Just before midnight they cleared the woods that faced the back of the house.  They were sated from the herd of deer they had come across.  Carlisle looked towards the window to his room when he saw a flicker of light that he quickly recognized as being from a candle.  He smiled to himself and ran to the house. 

He went to the washroom off of the library and found a pile of clothes on the counter and called out a thank you to Alice.  He stripped off what was left of his outfit and jumped into the shower.  This was most definitely the biggest mess he had made on a hunt in centuries.  He quickly cleaned up and got out to discover the clothes Alice had left him were a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt.  He laughed at the irony.  He was most likely the only vampire who would wear such attire since their kind did not sleep.

He headed down to his room saying a goodnight to Rosalie and Emmett as they lounged in the living room.  He tossed out his decimated clothing and then opened the door to his and Bella’s room.  The sight before him made him stop and take notice.  Bella was lying with her back to the door staring at the candle as its reflection danced against the glass. She was wearing a sleep set that was comprised of a dark brown camisole with matching capris.  The richness of the color looked beautiful against her skin.  Her hair, now free from the braid lay down her back like a veil of silk.  The faint sounds of Lifehouse were coming from the iHome she had next to the bed.  The lyrics were sad yet hopeful and he had recalled her listening to this song before when she would be introspective.

Carlisle made his way across the room and climbed on the bed behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist.  Bella did not give the impression that she surprised to see him there.  She hummed in contentment when he nuzzled into the hair by her neck.

“Welcome home,” she said softly as she turned to face him.

Her hand went up to caress his cheek.  Carlisle leaned into her touch and closed his eyes in quiet contemplation.

“My home is wherever you are.”

“Ditto.” Was her response.

He opened his eyes to see her staring at him with the most loving of gazes.  He could get lost in her chocolate pools for years. 

“I missed you.” Bella whispered.

“And I you.  I am sorry about…” he attempted to apologize for nearly losing control again, but Bella stopped him.

“There is nothing to apologize for.  Alice and Rosalie explained it all to me earlier today.  I am sorry if I pushed you too far.”

He shook his head as he looped his finger around the delicate curve of her ear to set the stray hair there in place.

“You did nothing wrong, sweetheart.” He looked her straight in the eye so she would see the truth in his words. “I just need to hunt more often now that our relationship has changed.”

She traced a finger along his cheekbone observing the color of his eyes and the lightening of the shadows beneath them. “You had a good hunt tonight?”

He smiled and nodded.  “I did.”

He leaned in and kissed her reverently as her hand drifted to get lost in his still damp blond locks.  He went on placing gentle kisses on her chin, cheeks and nose.  Both eyes received similar affections before he placed a slow kiss on her forehead.  The candlelight flickering caught his attention.

“May I ask, why you are burning a candle?” he asked her.

She turned to look at the white tapper, “I had read once that it is something a person does when they are waiting for a loved one to return from a journey.” She blushed slightly before she forced her eyes back to his, “I just wanted you to know that I was waiting for you.”

Carlisle was overwhelmed by the flood of emotions that rushed through him.  He never thought he would be lucky enough to find love again and yet, here in his arms lay a woman who loved him without constraints.

“I am truly the luckiest man to ever walk this earth.” His voice nearly shook with the weight of his feelings.

Bella leaned up to bring their lips back together.  Soft, tender kisses were exchanged before Carlisle ended the connection to speak.

“I promise I will always do whatever it takes to keep you safe.” He vowed to her.

A cold chill ran down Bella’s spine as she remembered Edward saying something eerily similar.

“Just promise me that you’ll never leave me.  Even if it is for my protection.” She insisted.

Carlisle saw the unadulterated fear in her eyes; understanding how she may have misconstrued his oath.

“Never My Bella.  I promised you when we left Forks that I would never leave you again.  I will never leave you no matter what.” He said each word clearly as he looked her directly in the eyes. “I swear on all that I am and all that I have that I will always be wherever you are.  This existence is nothing more than that without you.”

Bella let go of the breath she was holding and gave a slow nod accepting his word as the truth.  He pressed his lips to her and she melted into his embrace. 

Their kisses increased in intensity but only to a low burn.  Their hands explored gently the other’s face and upper body.  Carlisle let his hands graze down her ribs but never made any attempt to push things further.  It was sweet and romantic.  Their languorous ministrations continued as the candle burned down.